My home is my haven.
My art is my joy. My wise self...she's my guardian.
A couple of days ago, I
enjoyed lunch with a friend/colleague.
During the course of our, cool, rainy afternoon get-together, she asked me if I was still writing. I responded affirmatively; adding that I was also doing lots of art journaling as of late. She then said something that totally struck a chord
within me, “Tina, I am convinced that your artsy side comes from having
a job where you have very little room for creative thinking.” Although I had never given this matter consideration, her statement is, pretty much, true.
For at
least 40 hours a week, I serve as a public grants administrator in the
charming, little town college town where I live.
And, even sans the creativity aspect, I feel fortunate to have this
opportunity. This job has taken me
to new levels both professionally and personally. Being responsible for the successful administration of
literally millions of federal funds, each year, has made me more decisive,
independent, left-brain skilled and, quite frankly, empowered…fulfilled, too,
as the programming I oversee all benefits local persons with low and moderate
incomes. This job challenges me
daily, and (I believe) keeps my mind relatively sharp. Much of my actions are mandated, however, by concrete
principles (federal regulations); which means there is very little room (aside
from my leadership and management styles) to exercise creativity on the 9 to 5.
As a child, I had
always been creative. I loved to
draw, paint, write and do crafts (The painting above is one I rendered at the
age of 10.). Art was most definitely a part of my
daily life. Somewhere along the
way, though, I lost my art…gave it less focus, actually. Sure, I’d write a bit, do something
crafty every now and again, or begin journaling—all sporadically. But, seeking to live each day
artistically; well, that was no longer present.
Even though (for
some number of years) my day-to-day focus on an art-filled life was missing,
there still continued to be some level of creative expression in my life. Every job I’ve held prior to this time
was in volunteer management which lent itself to a decent level of daily
creativity (deciding volunteers’ assignments, developing orientation workshops,
conducting program marketing, etc.).
Something quite
remarkable happened to me about a year into my present job as a grants
administrator (about six years ago).
Like an ignited spark, my world suddenly became illuminated by my own
creative undertakings: writing, journaling, crafting art, seeing beauty
everywhere, etc., etc., etc.
After a bit of
reflection, my sage friend’s comment became one which took on a deeper
meaning. It provided a likely explanation for my reclaimed creative spirit. Seeing the gross
imbalance my current job created in my life, I truly believe that my wise self understood
the important role creativity plays in my life, silently took the reigns and
gained control. Aha!
I’ve had many aha
moments throughout my life, but this one honestly speaks volumes to me: My wise self, she is my protector. She
is authentically me; inherently knowing what I want and need in order to live a healthy, happy, well-lived life. And, when I allow her to do so, she makes good things happen. Therefore, I should always seek her
counsel and trust her wisdom as its sole purpose is to enrich my life. Aha,
again!
What’s your wise
self’s greatest contribution to your life? T.
